Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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