Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Green mimosas i think yes
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
