JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
