I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
