I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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