It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
