whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
