i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
