Midget sex pt 2 tonight
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
