The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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