Buhtt sex?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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