Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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