On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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