ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
