So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
