You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I love having hate sex.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
