is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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