He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
