Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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