i'm signing you up for texting rehab
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
