I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
