Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
well you can't waste a boner
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
