i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
