About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
