Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
