I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
