dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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