Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
