I think i peed on brittanys purse
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
