SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
