maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
