I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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