she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
