I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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