i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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