So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
