The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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