Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
