I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
