so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
