I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
