Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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