I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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