1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
