Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
