just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
