Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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