So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I can't turn off my feet"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
