You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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