OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
