Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
